In the past couple of days I have been talking with some friends of mine about the issue of marriage. They are in the beginning stages of carrying this out.

The purchase of engagement rings has been done, and the date is getting close to being set.

I was chatting on FB with the female side of this equation while she bounced wedding theme ideas off my head. While we were talking I very jokingly suggested elements of the theme for my possible wedding (yes guys you can talk about such things without losing you "manliness" LOL). Well my idea was nutty. A gothy visual kie themed styled wedding, with the bride as the female side of a favored artist of mine, and me in the masculine version. Of course a prerequisite was that we two would have to love this artist.

Well after saying that, my friend said "well *insert real name here*, you have to remember, the wedding is about the bride."

This struck me as wrong, especially when I look at the equal society many in our society strive for. My reaction may have been a bit harsh.

I replied "well, that's a bit sexist".

Now let me stop there. That really is all of the convo that pertains to this note.

Due to the controversy of the marriage equality acts, popping up all over the place, I have been doing my own research about the institution.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines Marriage as: 1. The condition of being married. 2.A wedding ceremony 3. A close or intimate union.

You will note, there is no gender defined in this definition. There is no mention of religion. There is no mention of hierarchy.

In my research however I have learned the history of marriage. I suggest all reading this do their own. What I have learned is for a very long time marriage was nothing more than a property deal, usually reserved for rich families. What was the property? The woman, along with some property deed tied to her.

Remember it is only in recent history that women ceased to be considered property, at least in our society, there are some societies where this notion still holds true.

I personally like the nice little veneer we have all put on the idea of marriage. I like the fairy tale aspect of it. The union of two people that love one another. I do not much like the idea that the bride is the center of attention, nor do I much like the idea of the father of the bride handing her over to the groom. Why is this?

Because of where it stems from. Remember the old idea of marriage? Well that is where the father hands over the "property" to the new member of the family. With that went the land being handed over to the groom.

Is this really a tradition we want to uphold.

My view on marriage? I believe a marriage is a union of two that love one enough enough to want to be with each other for a very long time. To share the trial and tribulations that life has to offer.

The cerimony should illustrate this. The bride should not outshine the groom, and the groom should not outshine the bride.

BOTH should outshine the congregation witnessing the union.

Marriage in my eyes has been cheapened and ruined in many ways. I am surprised at the numbers of people that want to continue this deal honestly.

We have people of "the defense of marriage" showing pure hate when they say gays should not get married. But do they do anything about divorce? How about drive through wedding chapels? For crying out loud, those make this very important step no more important than ordering a Big Mac.

No they don't. Instead they just spew their hate that Christ not once advocated.

I do wish people would really do research when about to take a big jump such as marriage. Learn the true history of it. Make the ceremony your own, and realize that a union is when two separates become one entity.

I personally like the idea of hand fasting, or the like. From what I have seen, there is no hierarchy.

I also wish that people would put half the energy put into the ceremony into the actual relations