So I find I am selfish
That's right, my gloomy self has been determined by a facebook quiz that the reason I am single is because I am selfish.
No dummy, I am single because A) I am actually a very shy person and don't get out half as often as I like, and B) I am f'ing weird. ( I have a "normal" appearance for day to day activities, but would absolutely love to appear as I do here, but you know, people may not like that. LOL).
I find it funny though. If there is an area where I am selfish, out of all honesty, it is my appearance. I am one that thinks gender rules on what clothing is appropriate to be outdated, and now a days terribly one sided. But it is only on a rare occasion that I am able to spread my fashion wings and wear something that would usually be odd for a guy to wear, but when I show up in what I wear, I get compliments, from both women and men. Comments like " wow, you really put that together well" or "I wish I had the build to wear that" and the occasional "oh my god you are hot" and so on.
But I find that more and more I am having to attire myself in stuff I don't really like, and feel forced to wear.
For instance, tonight I have been waylaid into attending a ballet recital of my niece. She likes my style choices, as do my brother and his wife. But because my mother is going, I have to wear jeans. I would prefer a nice pair of black leggings, boots, and a sweater of some sort, an outfit I wore with impunity not two years ago.
First off, I don't really want to attend something I disdain due to the teaching environment (ballet I have heard is a source of much body image problems, which my niece has been almost a victim of). But because it is my niece I must go. However I feel I should be able to wear what I want. That is selfish.
I know it sounds silly for a man to fret about such things. and for the most part men don't worry about such things. They usually revel in the fact they can lazily put on some pants and a shirt, and put nearly no effort into appearances. I personally find that lazy. I don't necessarily want the hassles that women have, but at the same time I think everyone should be able to freely choose how they look without undue harm or hard ships.
I don't know. Maybe I am just nuts.
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hey pythos !!
hey, i thought you were involved with someone. did something happen since, i guess, was it in september or october that you had mentioned someone you thought was a gem. remember?? amyway, i think about what to wear as well. i don't think it is silly or "unmanly", or perhaps too "womanly". : ). i do hate it when i think too much about whati want to wear because of lookin g"too dykey". oh library kicking me out.......
That someone
That someone was an ex girlfriend, that is now married. We are close freinds though. She helped me construct my Halloween costume, which may have been a point I was mentioning. Don't recall the conversation.
I am single for the time, finances have not allowed my returning to the clubs I liked to go to, and I fear I shall be too old to do so in the future.
" Pre-conceptions are the biggest enemy of humans. they prevent us from moving forward. If you want to see "another reality" you must first throw out your pre-conceptions. Every thing starts from there." -Mana
i know what you mean
i as well sometimes fear that as i remain single while i am growing older, that it will much more difficult to find that significant other. that's why i like to hear when "older folks" find each other later in life and are happy and so forth. i realize too that i want to find others through other means. meaning, i used to get girlfriends through other friends. back in my younger days, i lived in a large household ( 8 people !) and i connected with them as friends and met their friends as my future lovers. now, i prefer to live alone (hopefully that will happen soon here in seattle), and i have to find another way to meet folks. so.........i realized that i want to have things in common and i want to meet in my age range. bars are where i went to dance and drink water (cuz i danced so hard!) and didn't go to meet up with anyone (well, maybe once or twice : )). so now i think, for me, the sierra club, or this social website i found here in west seattle. it's a site where west seattle women post things like "want to go snowshoeing this week-end?" or "want to go to a certain play, hike, etc?" you get me, yeah? i am 50 now. yes, to look at me you wouldn't guess. but age does make a difference. and while i can get along with most aged people, i know that i want to meet a woman who is around my age and around my "fun" age; not be an "old" 50 yeaqr old. so for you, think of what you like to do. you are in your late 20's, yes?? yeah, i do remember going out dancing a lot with a constant friend. it was fun. it was the 80's. i do want to go dancing still. i don't know, are there things you can do as your Goth self that doesn't always involve bars? it would be fun to meet and hey, go dancing!! i would even wear some eyeliner!! : )